We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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