he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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