I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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