Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
