you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
