return my video game
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize