if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
