You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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