i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
