Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
