it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
