susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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