New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
