Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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