My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
