we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
is that a dick in a sweater?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
