if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
