a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
