I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
