its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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