She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Randomize
