I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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