We're facebook friends in real life
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
