Duck Duck Cougar?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize