Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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