the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
