I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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