Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
