you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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