She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
