Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He better not be in your backpack
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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