My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Randomize
