i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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