Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
