btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
