It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize