Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
