He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
