i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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