I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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