Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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