similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
