So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Randomize
