Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
