they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
