Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
