Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Randomize
