i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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