Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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