The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
