I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
