so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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