you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
