so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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