I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
