I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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