just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
