I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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