Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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