you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize