careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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